Did you know that if your adrenals are tired during pregnancy, that your baby’s adrenals will support you both during your third trimester? This will deplete your baby and have negative health implications for your precious child. Please make sure you are resourced and supported so that your adrenals are functioning well–for your health and pleasure as well as for baby’s.

Pregnancy is quite a stressor for many women. A common occurrence, however, is the woman who, upon reaching her third trimester of pregnancy, says that she all of a sudden “feels better than I have felt in years.” This is often the case when the first two trimesters were particularly difficult. The fetus’s adrenal glands mature to the point of being able to produce hormones at about the beginning of the third trimester.

If the mother is in the exhaustion stage of the GAS (adrenal function), it is not uncommon for the baby’s adrenals to try to make enough adrenal hormones for both the baby and the mother. The mother feels great. The baby’s adrenals are really supporting the mother’s adrenals. But the baby’s adrenal glands are being stressed before it is even born!

The results are doubly negative. The baby is born in a state of adrenal depletion and often exhibits symptoms of hypoadrenia. These symptoms may be varied, but two of the more common symptoms are allergies and recurrent infections. During chronic stress states, the thymus and other lymphatic structures atrophy, lowering the capabilities of the body’s immune mechanisms.

http://tuberose.com/Adrenal_Glands.html

Do you trust your body? If so, is it all the time, some of the time? Or perhaps you trust parts/aspects of your body and not others?

How is this similar for you to trusting your intuition or knowing? How does this relate to fertility and conception?

This topic of trusting your body is coming up often as I talk with women in private sessions and listen to women’s conception and pregnancy stories. And so I wanted to share this with you, and to invite you to share your stories with me, regardless of where you are on your parenting journey.

I often hear the story that a medical professional has decreed it “impossible for you to conceive” due to your “advanced maternal age” or some other such pronouncement based on tests or scans or other metrics which do indeed seem valid. But what of that internal knowing that there is a child who has chosen you, whom you have chosen to parent?

Seriously, how does a woman reconcile this conflicting information, when the inside knowing does not match the information she receives from the outside or it’s not happening in the timing she expected?

Look at all the thought-forms, statistics and feelings about fertility challenges out there in the world, all around us in media, in friends and family, in the medical community. The term infertility is so popular! It’s not a term I embrace. I like fertility support, enhancement, something like this instead.

Each woman has a different story, a different circumstance. Some of us conceive naturally and easily with little or no effort or consciousness. Others struggle for years and never conceive, don’t want adoption or surrogacy, and choose a different path for their life. Still others find their way, a middle way, their own unique way to motherhood, despite what others tell them or what our society projects as “the way it’s supposed to look” meaning prince charming and a nubile young bride who becomes pregnant within the first year, (that’s extreme but you know what I mean).

What of the women who decided to wait, to have a career, to be mature and ready in her own timing to create a family? What about those of us who didn’t even know we wanted children until our late 30’s? It’s really common!

How easy is it to trust yourself and your body, your own knowing when someone is marking all over your files “AMA” (Advanced Maternal Age) or your family is pitying you because you don’t have the guy? Do those external ideas influence your internal sense of yourself and what you are choosing?

What of liberation, of choice, of really trusting your body and your intuition? If you are reading this I know that you are in touch with your body and your knowing and your conviction of “this is real.” “I will be a mother.” You are in touch with this at least to some degree.

And what I wonder is, are you ever knocked off of that clarity? If so, how easily are you knocked off of that trust in your own body, of knowing how to resource yourself? Does it take one trip to the fertility specialist saying, “It isn’t going to happen, too bad” Or perhaps it is the disapproving look from a family member that causes collapse and defeat. How do you press on, finding the resources that fit your internal pictures of what you are creating?

These stories of women persevering in their knowing despite outside authority and social pressure—it’s essentially female, and I keep hearing these inspiring stories. We as women are creatively powerful when we are connected in this way to our own bodies and knowing, connected even to our future child’s soul–that as long as we stay aligned with that knowing, we can create anything.

From that powerful place of knowing and connection, we can draw to us the resources, support and circumstances we need. Our body chemistry changes. We make new friends. We find a new doctor, one who says, “Oh, this is going to be easy.” And I’ve heard this and seen this, once the internal commitment and alignment with knowing sets up, “yes! This is for me!” then all things may re-organize as if in one exhale and suddenly life looks fresh and new.

Maybe you have a story of your own pregnancy to share, or maybe you are navigating your own path, finding your way in the midst of so much information and outside opinion, your personal heroine’s journey.

If you are pre-conception and finding this challenging in any way, please know you aren’t alone. Do whatever you can to nourish yourself and fall into alignment with your deepest knowing, and love, love that body of yours. She knows what to do. You know what to do. I believe that if you desire to be a mom, you will be. What that looks like, how you create your family is your personal masterpiece and it does not have to look like anyone else’s.

You can shift consciousness in small children by contacting their Higher Selves, even for a moment. Imagine your Higher Self contacting Theirs, telling them mentally, “I see the beauty and light in you; I recognize you for the great being you are.” Children will usually respond in some way to your silent message, and you will have assisted in their spiritual awakening.

Taken from Spiritual Growth: Being Your Higher Self (Sanaya Roman)

Intending to conceive and start or expand your family?

Why not have a little fun and make a special playlist to inspire you? I can imagine a lot of different ways this could go. If you are in that mode of “trying” all the time you might want a sexy playlist. Or maybe, your playlist is filled with songs that help you feel full of aliveness and hope. One of the songs I listened to EVERY DAY (seriously) for a while when I was birthing this business and website, was Climb Every Mountain from The Sound of Music:

“A dream that will need all the love you can give. Every day of your life, for as long as you live!!!”

On days where I felt like I was crazy or no one would understand or maybe I was just plain cranky, this song would tease my joy out of me or inspire me and help me take the next step, help me just giggle and enjoy the heck out of it.  Truth be known, this was not my idea. This was the genius of Regena Thomashauer who suggested this song for me. She was SO right, I am ever grateful and so I’m passing this on to you.

What song or songs would light you up and fill you with inspiration on your journey?

I have lots of themed playlists. If you are looking for your guy, you could have one for that, plus one for your baby making. Help yourself get in the groove. I also really like the song “Isn’t she lovely” by Stevie Wonder. You can hear a baby coo at the beginning and end of the song depending on the version. “Isn’t she lovely, made from love.” “We have been heaven blessed.” Wonderful lyrics.

What are your ideas for best baby playlist songs? And remember, this is for YOU. Once you have the baby, then you can have baby playlist for baby, and mama playlist to help you feel sane and energized because you are so busy with your baby!

Don’t you agree?

How can we as adults welcome them and help them feel safe, loved and seen? How can we help them remain connected to their Divine Self as they begin to learn about our world?

I think that’s what they all would like. Isn’t that what we all desire? And so how can we as global citizens, as parents, as parents-to-be, aunts, uncles and friends organize ourselves to welcome children well?

I’d love to hear your visions. The things you do, the ways that you facilitate this. Perhaps it’s simply how you ARE and the way that you live.

Once they are born, Soft beautiful things in their environment seem important to me, as do soft loving words and touches. Listening to them as if you could really hear them, looking at them with the eyes of your higher self and soul to really see them. Filling yourself with joy moment-to-moment so that this is a steady tone and note in their reality and understanding about relationships. Understanding how incredibly sensitive they are, how every touch and sound is amplified to their new little bodies and sensory system. And so even if we are in a hurry, taking a moment to get present and intending to connect with them, intending to collaborate with them is important. Asking them what they need and listening. Getting to know what their sounds and expressions mean.

What a gift they bring, to help us slow down and get connected to ourselves and each other in this way, because truly, we are all aspects of the divine in physical form.

You might feel the presence of your child years before it’s your time to conceive her, or you might have never even thought this was possible! Either way, you can learn to develop the relationship with your child even before you conceive. You can begin to set the tone and dynamics of your relationship, to get to know her as energy before you meet her. I believe that anyone can do this. I also believe you can do this whether you plan to welcome your baby through natural conception, with medical assistance,  through surrogacy or adoption! There are many ways to create or expand your family.

When you sign up for my free tele-class and newsletter (at the top right of the page, in the orange box area), you’ll receive a free meditation that is at the end of the tele-class that helps you do just this. Many people have had wonderful, clear, even emotional connections with the soul of their baby in this way. You can ask them what they need from you, what their life purpose is, why they are choosing you, even what their name is.

One woman who I consider to be very conscious and clear, when she got to the part in the meditation where you ask for the child’s name thought she didn’t really care about that. She was totally unattached to the name. Her child came roaring through with a very clear name! He told her his name was important because of his life purpose. You can read about her experience here–it’s the fourth story as you scroll down.

Something you can do before you have a chance to listen?

1. Get centered

2. Ask to be connected to your child

3. Intend to connect heart-to-heart, you can imagine a wave of energy connecting your hearts

4. Listen. Observe.

5. Trust what you receive. It might be a sense in your body or an image or words. Trust your intuition.

I’d love to hear your experiences, and be sure to download your free Welcoming Your Child journey when you have a chance.

Enjoy!

Some of the babies that I work with are very, very bright beings and they are coming with a clear purpose and mission for their life. They would like to hit the ground running, to be welcomed and nurtured by parents for their own unique purpose. I see them choosing strong parents, oftentimes I see women in their late 30’s to mid 40’s who’ve suddenly been captivated by one of these baby beings. They have a strong response to this connection, desire to have a child, and yet of course–the unknown of what their lives will be like as a mom can create a hesitancy or unconscious block to conception.

Some of my clients seem to be afraid that having a child will add too much to their plate, and wonder how will they accomplish their own big vision and life purpose. It can be difficult to commit 100% to becoming a parent when you have such a full vision for your life, and when you are comfortable with the dynamics of your own life as you’ve known it. This seems to be especially challenging for women in their 30’s and 40’s who already have established careers, relationships, homes and life patterns.

If this resonates for you, what can you do? How can you resolve this and become clear?

Honestly, it will require a leap of faith and trusting your heart. And yet, there are also practical tools and steps that might help you.

First I’d like to say that when I see this, I also see how these brilliant baby beings can contribute to your expansion and the fulfillment of your life purpose. While I am under no illusion that it may be very challenging to manage everything once you are a mom, I do believe that the energy and presence that the child will bring you has the quality of synergy to it. It’s greater than additive, meaning that the whole family system will receive a huge boost by welcoming these children. It will require everyone involved to grow and to organize their energy differently perhaps, but it’s an amazing and unique opportunity.

If you are struggling, here are two practical things you can do.

1. Ask yourself on a scale of 0-100% how committed you are today to this decision. See how that feels. Are you comfortable making a commitment and proceeding at 60%? Can you make peace with that? Check in with yourself and bring your awareness to your particular ambivalence. It seems to be completely normal to have some ambivalence about such a huge decision about how you are going to spend your female generative energy! And so be gentle with yourself. I know plenty of women who are moms, who would absolutely do it again, and who have doubts at times, wonder what it would have been like to have made a different decision or chosen a different timing to start their family. And I know single women who adore their lives and choices, but sometimes wonder what it would have been like. It seems to me this is just part of being a woman. Only you can know which choice is best for you, and you most likely know this in your heart and in your gut.

2. Start a baby journal. Give yourself some kind of timeline–a deadline by which you’ll decide, and break up that timeline into weekly or daily segments. You can spend one full week exploring and pretending that you’ve 100% decided YES you are going to pursue your desire for a child. Go to baby stores. Read baby and mothering magazines. Offer to babysit on these days for a friend who would love a mani-pedi break. Journal your thoughts and feelings and plans on these days. Keep track of how you feel on these days. And then for the equal amount of time, alternate with NO days, days where you try on that you’ve decided 100% that you are at no, you are not choosing to be a parent. On those days, journal your thoughts and plans about this, go do things that have nothing to do with children, really get into the fact you’ve decided not to. And notice your physical and emotional responses on these days. At the end of your agreed upon time period, check in with yourself again. Do you know what you most desire?

There are lots of things you can do, and I think these two things are simple and might help you get clear if you aren’t sure. As with anything we have not yet experienced, there may be some trepidation, it’s normal! It does appear though, with all of the models of amazing women and men out there who also have kids, that yes! You can fulfill your life’s purpose and vision AND have a baby, and sometimes those two callings go hand in hand.

I was recently interviewed for radio and was asked my beliefs and thoughts around medical practices and the importance of certain hormone levels and other measurements  and guidelines for fertility. I am not a medical doctor, nor am I an expert in fertility in this way.

What I do know is that there are optimal levels for conception and healthy pregnancy, and that it’s a good idea to work with knowledgeable practitioner or practitioners that you feel comfortable with and confident in, be they acupuncturists, naturopaths, midwives, nurses or doctors. It is important to find professionals to support you whose beliefs are resonant with yours, who help you feel comfortable, empowered and confident rather than frightened in any way.

There are MANY resources available and each of us is unique. We have unique needs, unique beliefs, unique bodies and circumstances. My desire for you is that with the confidence in your own being, you know which resources are right for you even if they look different from those that others around you may choose, and that you always feel empowered in this process.  Surround yourself with allies who have expertise in all the areas in which you need support on your beautiful journey to motherhood.

Word of mouth is a great way to find your team of resources, and I will continue to share resources that I am aware of with you. Another great way is to get silent within. Ask to connect with your higher self. Ask to connect with the higher self of your baby-to-be (pre-conception as well as during pregnancy) and ask to be guided to the nourishing and supportive resources that you both need. You can also include your husband or partner’s higher self in this request.

I recently featured Ina May Gaskin’s book Spiritual Midwifery in my blog. That too is a great resource for information about hormone levels, nutrition, and other biological aspects of fertility and healthy pregnancy. You can find this and other wonderful resources on my shop page, under “books and dvds.”

For information on hormone levels and what you might need to do to prepare, I have two resources that I lean on quite a bit. Both of these women are knowledgeable in their fields, both are nurses.

First, there is Teresa Robertson. Teresa is based in Boulder and is a Nurse-Midwife as well as an intuitive. She has a free audio course in which she shares spiritual and medical aspects of pregnancy. You can download it here.

The second resource is Janet Michel of Sound Garden Healing in Seattle. Janet is an acupuncturist and a nurse who specializes in fertility.

I didn’t really address this on the radio, so I thought I’d fill in the blanks here. I’d love to hear about some of your favorite resources and members of your support team. Let’s share the wealth!

When I was in Santa Fe recently, I had the pleasure of meeting Harmony Rose West . We had tea and she gifted me with a set of her Bless You Mom cards. They are sweet. She took pictures of parents and children in her community for one side of these lovely round cards, and the other side contains gentle and affirming messages of self-love for mom such as, “Today may I show my child that the world is a beautiful place of discovery and creation.”

If you live in the Santa Fe area, you might also check out her group classes which provide support and community for moms.

I have been reading Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. Have you read it?

It’s a rich source for all things pregnancy. She makes a comment that reading about birth stories helps a woman prepare, and essentially the first half of the book is filled with birth story after birth story. I felt this way when I watched Elena Tonetti’s video Birth As We Know It, that if you don’t have a positive imprint about natural birth, watching natural birth after natural birth begins to give you a template that could assist you when it’s your time.

There is a lot of information in Ina May’s book that you may not have heard before, it’s direct, loving and clear. As I read it, I felt her embodied knowing about childbirth on every page. There is information on nutrition during pregnancy, what to expect during the birth, breastfeeding, and there are notes for midwives as well.