How do we show up when we are invited to hold space for someone who is giving birth?

One of our own is in labor right now and there is a small group of us holding space for her.

As we all know, the birthing field matters. The thoughts, emotions, feelings of those who attend and encircle the birthing woman contribute to the birthing experience.

To me this is an honored position to be in.

What do you think or feel should be the agreements of those in such a position? 

What standards do you hold yourself to, and what would you expect or require of others holding space for your birth? 

How can we show up to buoy and support the mothers, babies, fathers and care providers?

What helps create an optimal and supportive environment?

There is a lot of research and understanding about the birthing field. Helping a woman be in her animal brain, dim lights, soft music, not engaging the logical mind are some known supportive conditions. The thoughts, emotions and imprints about birth of those in the room also contribute to the experience.

The purpose of this post it not to cover every aspect. If this is of interest to you, check out APPPAH, Heart and Hands Midwifery, and other resources for a more comprehensive discussion.

I’m interested in the mindfulness, presence and quality of consciousness we bring. 

Some basic things that seem obvious to me about being in the support circle include:

  • Prior to the birth, evaluate your own relationship to birth. Are you able to hold loving, clear space? Are you triggered or do you have beliefs or emotions from your own experience that need to be loved and healed either before you participate, or that might indicate that you will be of better service to participate and support in another way? Be honest with your self and the mom if you think it’s counterproductive for you to be present.

During the birth:

  • Center yourself and access your own higher consciousness before you include mom and baby in your awareness. When you think of them and include them in your awareness, do so from as clear and high resonance place you have access to.
  • Mindful communication. Before you post or speak or share something that pops into your mind, check to see how it might land for the birthing mom.
    • Is this helpful?
    • Is this a distraction?
    • Will it pull her into her thinking mind?
    • Will it pull focus to you or disrupt the field in any way?
    • Is it something that is necessary and meaningful for the mom or one of the caregivers to pay attention to?
    • Does it help her focus in the way she needs?
    • Check to see if the communication is bubbling up because of your excitement, or if there might be a need that you have to contribute or to be connected to the experience, to be validated in your role.
    • Basically, simply do your best to make sure it’s not about you and that it is harmonized with the birthing field, and will either be neutral and stable or help it resonate with even more beauty and harmony.
    • Enter with a clear intent that all of your energy, thoughts and actions are in support of this clear field of love that is 100% in support of mom and baby.


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