Do you trust your body? If so, is it all the time, some of the time? Or perhaps you trust parts/aspects of your body and not others?

How is this similar for you to trusting your intuition or knowing? How does this relate to fertility and conception?

This topic of trusting your body is coming up often as I talk with women in private sessions and listen to women’s conception and pregnancy stories. And so I wanted to share this with you, and to invite you to share your stories with me, regardless of where you are on your parenting journey.

I often hear the story that a medical professional has decreed it “impossible for you to conceive” due to your “advanced maternal age” or some other such pronouncement based on tests or scans or other metrics which do indeed seem valid. But what of that internal knowing that there is a child who has chosen you, whom you have chosen to parent?

Seriously, how does a woman reconcile this conflicting information, when the inside knowing does not match the information she receives from the outside or it’s not happening in the timing she expected?

Look at all the thought-forms, statistics and feelings about fertility challenges out there in the world, all around us in media, in friends and family, in the medical community. The term infertility is so popular! It’s not a term I embrace. I like fertility support, enhancement, something like this instead.

Each woman has a different story, a different circumstance. Some of us conceive naturally and easily with little or no effort or consciousness. Others struggle for years and never conceive, don’t want adoption or surrogacy, and choose a different path for their life. Still others find their way, a middle way, their own unique way to motherhood, despite what others tell them or what our society projects as “the way it’s supposed to look” meaning prince charming and a nubile young bride who becomes pregnant within the first year, (that’s extreme but you know what I mean).

What of the women who decided to wait, to have a career, to be mature and ready in her own timing to create a family? What about those of us who didn’t even know we wanted children until our late 30’s? It’s really common!

How easy is it to trust yourself and your body, your own knowing when someone is marking all over your files “AMA” (Advanced Maternal Age) or your family is pitying you because you don’t have the guy? Do those external ideas influence your internal sense of yourself and what you are choosing?

What of liberation, of choice, of really trusting your body and your intuition? If you are reading this I know that you are in touch with your body and your knowing and your conviction of “this is real.” “I will be a mother.” You are in touch with this at least to some degree.

And what I wonder is, are you ever knocked off of that clarity? If so, how easily are you knocked off of that trust in your own body, of knowing how to resource yourself? Does it take one trip to the fertility specialist saying, “It isn’t going to happen, too bad” Or perhaps it is the disapproving look from a family member that causes collapse and defeat. How do you press on, finding the resources that fit your internal pictures of what you are creating?

These stories of women persevering in their knowing despite outside authority and social pressure—it’s essentially female, and I keep hearing these inspiring stories. We as women are creatively powerful when we are connected in this way to our own bodies and knowing, connected even to our future child’s soul–that as long as we stay aligned with that knowing, we can create anything.

From that powerful place of knowing and connection, we can draw to us the resources, support and circumstances we need. Our body chemistry changes. We make new friends. We find a new doctor, one who says, “Oh, this is going to be easy.” And I’ve heard this and seen this, once the internal commitment and alignment with knowing sets up, “yes! This is for me!” then all things may re-organize as if in one exhale and suddenly life looks fresh and new.

Maybe you have a story of your own pregnancy to share, or maybe you are navigating your own path, finding your way in the midst of so much information and outside opinion, your personal heroine’s journey.

If you are pre-conception and finding this challenging in any way, please know you aren’t alone. Do whatever you can to nourish yourself and fall into alignment with your deepest knowing, and love, love that body of yours. She knows what to do. You know what to do. I believe that if you desire to be a mom, you will be. What that looks like, how you create your family is your personal masterpiece and it does not have to look like anyone else’s.

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